A lifeline for people living with Head and Neck Cancer: A daughter’s story

My dad, Joe Neary, loved his family, his motorbike, and joking with everyone he met. He had a deep passion for learning and was a lecturer in nursing before his first battle with Head and Neck Cancer in 1998. It returned in 2000 requiring a gruelling and risky surgery which caused so many other health issues.

He always knew the cancer would come back again; it was the shadow that followed him.  Sure enough, in 2020 Dad’s cancer was back and he was told he would need a total laryngectomy – the removal of his voice box. The surgery left him isolated, unable to speak, and struggling to eat, eventually he couldn’t swallow fluids. Watching him suffer through pain, hunger, and frustration was heartbreaking. Losing his ability to speak was devastating, not just for him but for all of us. His voice was central to who he was—an academic, a jokester, and a connector. We felt lost, trying to navigate the complexities of his care, and it became clear how much we needed specialist help and support from people who truly understand this horrible disease.

Despite his incredible will to live, we watched Dad turn into a ghost. The man who had once lit up strangers' days, who filled our childhood with play and adventures couldn’t speak, hardly smiled, and felt like the cancer had isolated him from the world. Dad was offered sessions with a psychologist but due to waiting times he saw them every three months.

Both my parents had been nurses and Dad worked in health education, so he was familiar with cancers but as a family we had no idea about what was about to happen to him, or us.

I wish we had known more – more about the surgery and what it would mean. More about the potential complications – forewarned is forearmed. More about the social challenges, maybe we could have been more prepared for the different way people behave towards someone who has no voice and how we could have better supported him. We needed guidance—someone to talk to, ask questions, and give us advice when we didn’t know what was coming next.

A Call to Action

Head and Neck Cancer is a disease that often flies under the radar, yet it has devastating consequences for those affected.

Joe Neary’s story is a poignant reminder of the human cost of this illness and the pressing need for better post-treatment care.

By supporting the Three Capes Trek 2025, you will be helping Head and Neck Cancer Australia to continue providing vital free information and much-needed emotional and counselling support to families like Gemma’s who are battling this complex and isolating disease.

Please help us ensure that no one has to navigate the challenges of Head and Neck Cancer alone.

In memory of Joseph Neary
30/11/1947 – 23/02/2024